Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize