I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
