i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
