I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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