No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
how does that bad decision feel?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
