dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
