everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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