This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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