3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Ladies don't puke and tell
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
