It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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