There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
