Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
