You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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