You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
