she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
