i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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