I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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