Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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