Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
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