And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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