god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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