yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
