I swear god or herbie drove my car home
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
