..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
