it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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