They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize