I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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