is your mom at the bar?
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
