I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
