i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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