3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
