All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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