It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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