Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
