She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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