so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
