So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
