Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
