He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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