so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize