I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
