You smell like a Billy Joel song
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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