Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
being pregnant is like rehab
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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