I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
