I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
