I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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