you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
