So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
