come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
