we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
