Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wish I could punch you in the face.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Vodka?
Forever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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