If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
