MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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