you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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