Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
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