I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
