My first STD was from a foam party
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
