he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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